


Fallen Hope

by PhoebePlaysWithPavlov



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Cravings, Death or Life, Depression, F/M, Finale Twist, Friendship/Love, Hannibal is a softy, Hate to Love, Hospitalization, Medicine, Needles, Other, Plot Twists, Possible Character Death, Pregnancy, Sad and Happy, Secrete twist which will destroy your heart, Sorry Not Sorry, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unrealistic (but takes the pain away), but still a cannibal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-26 15:24:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1693184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoebePlaysWithPavlov/pseuds/PhoebePlaysWithPavlov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will doesn't go to Hannibal's and Alana has to tell Hannibal something life changing but is left to pick up the pieces of her life, leaving her in a state of fear and panic. She has to pick to live or to do for the new being in their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fallen Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> So this is one way of dealing with feelings for the finale, I will continue this and I assure you it only gets worse.

Hannibal's grip on the knives tightened, he was angry with how she wasn't backing down. Hannibal took a few steps forward towards her.

"Alana, you are so blind, stop, stay blind and hide from this."

He stopped moving towards her. "But if you stay. I will kill you."

He looked Alana in her eyes trying to see what she wanted. He couldn't see anything, his own barriers were blocking the way, his tear ducts filling. He didn't want Alana to go, what they had was real but his freedom was in danger. She had to go.

Alana's hands trembled, and she swallowed hard. She pulled the trigger. Nothing. An empty, hollow click. Again. Nothing. Everything in the room slowed down as she realised he had won. She had lost. Tears ran down her face as she kept trying to fire the empty gun, she was scared and nothing could protect her.

"I took the bullets." Hannibal said looking at the fear in her eyes. This is what he had created, what he had done. He had hurt Alana and everything that she gave him was ash.

"Alana- don't be brave, be blind." He started to move again, this time faster and with less care. All he had wanted was to reach out to her and say that he was sorry that she had seen the real him, but they both knew that it wasn't going to happen.

Alana backed away, her gun clicking empty a couple more times before she lowered it. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes wide and pleading as she looked at him, before she turned and sprinted for the stairs. If he decided to throw a knife, she was dead.

Hannibal watched her run, fear for her life. He didn't run, he only watched. He reached the bottom of the stairs when he put the knives down. He didn't want her to suffer, he was to kill her and he would do it fast and painless. He followed her up the stairs when he heard the slam of his Bedroom door.

"Alana- stop" he shouted after her. He didn't know if she had heard him. But he did when the sound of an reloaded gun caught his ear.

"Found more bullets!" She called, her voice obviously trembling. She fired a few more shots, seeing him through the door and backing away. She turned as she saw a blur out of the corner of her eye. "Abi- Abigail...?"

Abigail came out of the shadows, face to face with Alana.

"I'm so sorry"  
Moments later, Abigail pushed Alana backwards out the window. Falling. Hannibal had opened the bedroom door and joined Abigail.

"Abi-Abigail, well do-, thankyou." he said not knowing what to say.

Alana didn't really have time to react. A shove, and then nothing. Then falling, and then pain. Oh, so much- explosive pain, in her back, and the back of her head... She didn't try to get up. If her spine was damaged, she should stay here. Stay still. She stared up into the dark, a soft whimper welling in her throat. She was vaguely aware of blood trickling out of the corner of her mouth, and she tried her very best to ignore it. Internal bleeding too, then... As well as all the glass probably buried in her back... Oh, the baby... Hannibal's baby...

Hannibal and Abigail 'dealt' with Jack and then prepared to leave. Will didn't turn up, he felt betrayed, maybe it was the plan in the end. To catch him in the act and bring justice to everyone. He was lost without will. This was his surprise for Hannibal, and now his surprise for Will had no purpose. There was no point in keeping her alive, they were meant to be a family, but he abandoned them. Abigail's time was over once more. Abigail was heading for the door, Hannibal grabbed her by the neck and pulled her backwards close to his mouth.

"I'm sorry Abigail- Will let us down."

She was gone, the life left her body faster than the rain hit the floor. Her neck snapped. He left the house, leaving it all behind not ever wanting to come back. That was only for his Memory palace to decide.

He saw her, lying there in the rain. motionless.

Alana's head didn't turn- she didn't want to risk hurting herself more than she already had. But she heard him, though. And he wasn't going to stop. He was just going to walk straight past her, wasn't he? Like she wasn't even there. Some reckless part of her brain made her say it. The same part of her brain that was terrified, the part that wanted- needed- him to be here with her. It was so cold, and everything hurt so much... She just didn't want to be alone... But he wasn't going to stop...

"I'm pregnant." Her voice wasn't loud, but she knew he heard her.

He was shocked, he felt like he had gone against his own beliefs, like he had killed Mischa. He didn't know what to do or think. Hannibal fell to the floor, and landed on his knees next to her. He brushed away her glass filled hair from her face and looked into her eyes once more. He could see everything he had taken, the life from her body leaving slowly. He couldn't save her. That didn't change how much she was glowing and filled with radiance. How could he not have seen it, that she was carrying life. He had destroyed her. A single tear rolled down his face while starring at Alana's broken body.

"I'm- Sor- Sorry." He voice broke as if he were the pieces of glass.

He broke inside, all his emotions came pouring out as if his mask of a serial killer slipped off. Out of everything in his life he never expected to be a- dad. Was it what he wanted? All that mattered was that- he got away. Nothing could stop his freedom.... or could it.... could this be the one thing that stopped him....

Alana looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes. She was silent for a few moments, not knowing what to say. Her shoulders trembled from the cold, and she opened her mouth, only to find more blood rolling down the side of her face. Clearly talking wasn't going to be easy. He should be sorry. He deserved to be sorry. She doubted a baby could have survived this.

Hannibal took off his jacket and placed it over Alana's trembling body, he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to save her and keep her warm. He moved close to Alana and kissed her tenderly on her forehead, he wiped the blood dripping from her mouth with the edge of his sleeve and caressed her face in his warm sturdy hand. Their eye contact broke when he turned away and reached for her abdomen, he placed his hand gently on her cold skin, not wanting to hurt her- it. He rubbed his hands in little circles, then leaned towards the life source.

"I'm sorry."

Alana inclined her head, only slightly. She sucked in a slow, trembling breath.

"I- I- Help me. Please..." She mumbled. She needed some help, anyway. Otherwise she was definitely going to die. Definitely. Or maybe he could call an ambulance.

Hannibal reached into his pocket and called 911, he pressed the phone against her head ready for her to talk. He didn't want to be the one making the call, they would know what happened and that is was him. "Hello, what is your emergency?" said the lady on the phone.

"Ambulance." She mumbled, reeling off the address. She wasn't going to waste time with anything else. Her eyes flicked back up to the sky, looking at the stars quietly. God, it was so cold out here. Everything hurt so much. She waited for Hannibal to end the 911 call, then looked over at him. "You're going to leave?" She croaked.

Hannibal ended the call, he couldn't say anything to Alana, she had seen him as he truly is, she saw him cry, not the serial killer but the emotional Hannibal.

"Alana- he paused- I can't stay ." He stroked her face .

"I'm sorry." All the pain he had given Alana finally hit him, this is what he was. A monster. He hadn't regretted anything, until she told him those two words. Those little two words, that made tiny pitter patters against his heart. This is what I am, I'm not going to be good for...them, he thought.

"Take me- Take me with you." She blurted, before she could stop herself.

"I- Please." She mumbled.

Okay, this was probably down to how much pain she was in. She wasn't thinking straight. She just- She needed him. She needed him so badly.

"I can't Alana, your not safe with me. I'm bad for you and would be bad for- he stuttered- the baby."

He was in so much pain saying that she couldn't come with him. He wanted her to, them to, but he needed to make sure she has stable and the baby was, he would come back for her, he thought. He wouldn't leave his family behind, not now.

"I'm sorry."

Alana looked up at him, a dry, hollow smile creeping across her lips. She nodded, only slightly, her eyes flickering shut against the pain. "Why are you still here, then?" Her voice was flat.

He looked her up and down not wanting to leave, but he knew he had too. "I'm just- taking it all in." He planted a kiss on her lips and stood up.

"Goodbye Alana." He walked away into the street and waited behind a nearby sign as he watched the ambulance arrive.


	2. Fallen Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana has to decide something which could change everything and everyone she loves lives. What will she do?
> 
> ~~Chapter 2 of Fallen Hope~~

Hannibal watched the doors of the ambulance shut as his final tears rolled down his face, he didn't want to go but it was for his best. It wouldn't be long until he would see her again. He thinks of all the plans he could, in which he could see her later on in the week. His final decision was to visit her night when nobody on the ward of the hospital was around. That is, if she even makes it to the ward. 

\Police cars arrive and surround the house, Hannibal only just manages to get away./

Alana barely made it. In fact, they weren't sure if she was going to make it. It was touch and go for nearly two weeks, and then another few days until she woke up. Her spine was severely damaged, it was serious. She'd had massive internal bleeding, and she'd suffered a severe head injury as well as the lacerations across her back. The glass had taken hours to remove, and that was only after spending hours in theatre for her other issues. It was certainly going to be a long and arduous recovery, if she could ever recover. They didn't know about the baby. They weren't sure.

A day after Alana had woken, Hannibal straight away planned to visit during the night. He had resources in the hospital which told him what was going on with Alana. He couldn't think of a way to tell Alana he regretted what he did, he was the one who did all of this. The only happiness he got since the accident was when he thought about the baby. The beautiful baby with azure eyes, just like its mother, with a smile so shy, like it's mother and hair long and brown, just like it's mother.

The life he destroyed and the one that he created were both slipping from reality. He noticed tears had started falling from his eyes again, that's something new to Hannibal as he doesn't understand why, he doesn't understand any of his emotions, and this didn't help.

When Alana awoke, she wished she hadn't. She wished she could fall back into the sweet, blissful darkness, away from the bright white room and the pain and the torment. She winced up at the ceiling, hands fumbling for something, anything. She needed something to remind her she wasn't dead. She needed something to remind her that living was worth it. She found nothing, though. Only herself.

/No, Alana. Not just you. You and your child. Your baby.\

Suddenly the window to her room opens and Hannibal hoists himself in, it wasn't a huge climb but it did take some upper body effort. The raggedy man shuts the window behind him and walks towards Alana's bedside, he sits down in the chair near her bed and sighs. After a few moments of silence, it started.

"When did this all go wrong Alana?" Hannibal breathes out.

"Maybe the part when you got someone to push me out of a window." Her voice was icy. She was in far too much pain to show him any sort of sympathy. She really, really, wasn't in the mood.

He didn't know what to say, he sighed again. "I didn't make her Alana, she did what she thought was right. She regretting doing what she did in the end." He tried to convince her, but he could tell it wasn't working. 

"I'm sorry Alana, I just- if I had knew-" he stopped. \has it all been worth it?/ 

"They don't know, Hannibal. They don't know if I've miscarried or not, yet. It's a waiting game." 

"What are the other options- are you going to-abort ?" his voice cracked at the idea of this, this was the first time Hannibal had even not been able to trust himself, he was emotional and didn't want anyone to know, he had mellowed, lost his interest in the rude. He wanted this, he wanted the responsibility. 

Alana swallowed. "I'm not- I don't think I'm going to abort. I don't- I don't think I could." She mumbled.

Hannibal leaned forward in his chair and reached for Alana's hands. His hands were warm against hers and reassured her in some way or form. He hung on tight not wanting to let go.

"It's your decision on what to do Alana, but whatever you choose. - he stumbled- I promise to stay by your side."

"Thanks." Her voice was flat, her eyes cold. She shouldn't want him. She shouldn't love him. Not anymore. But she did. She did. She didn't want him to ever leave. She wanted him to stay, and she wanted him to help her recover, and she wanted him to be a father to their child.

"Someone is coming." his voice was smooth but alarmed. He ran to the window and hung onto the ledge, and stood on the nearest bricks, it wasn't the smartest move but he didn't want to have to climb up again.

He didn't even have time to say goodbye to Alana.

"Hello, Dr. Alana Bloom? I'm Dr. Alice Middleton, I will be in charge of your health care while your here." She was young, maybe new at the job but at least she looked intrigued.

Alana blinked, frowning as he left her. No, no. No. She looked up at the doctor, blinked. "Hello."

"How are you feeling? " She said getting out her pen to write notes on a clipboard.

"Okay." She said, lying with a slight shrug. "My back's pretty painful, but that's to be expected."

"On a scale of 1-10 how bad would you say the pain is, if 10 would be agonising ?" she said writing down a few notes.

"Eight." more like 100.

She writes it down, but Alana expects something else, why would she have come this late, just to ask how she was feeling? No. There was something.

She clears her throat with a small cough "I have some serious news to tell you about your baby." she gently said.

Her mouth dried, and she nodded. "Yeah?" She asked, ignoring the tremble in her voice. Serious didn't mean bad, right? Serious could be good. It has to be, she couldn't cope with any more grief.

"The foetus in general is in good shape, we managed to stop the internal bleeding and you would be okay for an abortion, I'm telling you this because - she coughs- if you decided to keep the baby then there is a huge risk to your health as with all your spinal injuries and blood loss, It-It might end up killing you."

A sound hit the window, the Doctor wasn't bothered by it, but Alana knew it was Hannibal. Hannibal was listening to their conversation and lost track of his placing, he didn't fall, but the ledge can't hold his weight forever.

Alana glanced over at the window, swallowing. "I- ah- I'll need some time to think about- about my decision." She mumbled, running a hand over her face nervously.

"I'm sorry for the bad news Dr. Bloom, I will be here if you need anything, I am specifically here for you. You have an ultrasound tomorrow morning, so I suggest you get some sleep. " The Doctor said his final words before leaving.

Alana nodded, burying her face in her hands when tears welled in her eyes. Her life or her child's, living and suffer with pain for the rest of her life, knowing she had killed her own baby for her well being. Or dying and being free from pain and giving her life to another, she was tired not thinking straight. Filled with emotions nobody could understand. This was serious.

The window opened again and Hannibal climbed through once more. He ran to Alana's side and held her tight against his chest. "shhhhh, Alana, it's going to be okay, shhhhhh" He held her tight not wanting her to feel anymore pain than she already had been through

Alana whimpered softly, pressing her face into his chest. "What do I do?" Tears rolling down her face landing against Hannibal's chest.

"Well..." he paused while gasping for air trying to keep his tears back himself.

"You either terminate the pregnancy, or you could go through with it and have a chance of dying in the process, not much choice, I'm afraid." He whimpers into Alana's hair, holding her limp broken body on his strong one.

Alana swallowed. "I want to go through with it."

He looked down at her, shocked. "Alana, you could die. You would be in pain and have to deal with the all medication. They don't know if you or the baby will survive the pregnancy or birth. It's a huge risk Alana." He chocked on his breathe

"I know. But I can't just- We can't just..." Alana mumbled

"End it, we can't." Hannibal says

"It was our fault the life came to be and we should take responsibility to care for it." Alana's went wild, the tears wouldn't stop falling from her face.

"Alana, I agree." he said cupping her face in his hands brushing the tears away with his thumb.

Alana nodded, swallowing nervously. "It's what I want."

"Can- Can you promise me something?" she stuttered.

Hannibal loosened his grip, leaving her to be cradled in his arms "Depends what that is Alana?" 

Alana stared deep into his eyes, knowing what she was going to ask could be the biggest mistake.

"Promise me you'll look after her. Or him. Promise me that you'll give 'it' a good life."

He can't deal with Alana talking as if she is already gone, its too painful. He can't think straight. "I promise to look after our child no matter what happens, It will be safe." He rocks her slowly in his arms, stroking her head. \What has he just done?/

"Thank you." She mumbled, shoulders slumping as she pressed herself closer to him.

"Alana- I love you and loved you through out it all. I never meant to hurt you. I wanting to keep you safe from this- from me." His voice softens as does his grip

"I know." she replied.

"Goodnight Alana." Hannibal gently rested her head against the pillow and sat down in the chair next to her. They both had started falling asleep thinking about their child, hands in hands. It was up to him now to raise a child, the doctors said she would be lucky to live all the way though the pregnancy and that they would do what they can to help her get through it.

"I will love you always, Alana." He whispered smoothly with his eyes closed.

"I love you too." She murmured, squeezing his hand. \As worried as she was, she was still exhausted./

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is very unrealistic but it is just fan fiction so I guess its fine :D  
> I kinda based this on an album about a story similar to this. (The Antlers - Hospice)  
> Hope you guys enjoyed it, not sure if I'm going to write more on this. What do you guys think?


	3. Fallen Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long time at the hospital Alana is finally able to leave and Hannibal takes her home. Her treatment starts and so does her pregnancy. How will Alana deal with it all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than expected to write as I once again closed the tab and it got deleted. hehe my bad. Hope you guys enjoy :3

Alana had to spend 3 weeks in the hospital before they finally let her go home. They wouldn't let her go unless she agreed to have a medical carer 24/7 and to take medication everyday. That itself had it's own effects. 

Alana decided to go home, she couldn't put up with her small room and uncomfortable bed. She kept turning carers down as soon as them came up, she only wanted Hannibal, soon as they realised this, he was cleared and offered the opportunity.

Hannibal agreed to look after her, he realised if this was the end for Alana he wanted her to have the best time she could. Before it ended.

The day before she was discharged Hannibal had packed all her things ready to be returned home. Alana and Hannibal were wiry of each other. They both didn't say much, the fear of hurting each other was too strong for common conversations. What had happened hadn't pasted, with the death of Jack and the newly found body of Abigail also still around it was hard to keep up a conversation without any flashbacks or bad memories. 

Hannibal had barely gotten away with it, the FBI detained him for a while before having to release him as all the evidence they had found, nothing could prove he did it.

Hannibal said he had been attacked during making dinner for Jack and Alana. He got knocked out and taken outside. When he had woken up he saw blood on the floor threw the patio door windows, he couldn't get in and had to climb over into his neighbours garden and go around. By the time he had made his way around he heard gun shots. When he had gotten back to the house. Alana was gone. Jack was gone. Everything gone. He told them he had started making his way to Will Graham's house in Wolf Trap.

Obviously Will didn't know what really happened, even with the doubt of it being Hannibal. He still trusted him, just not with his life. Will had helped Hannibal get cleaned up and informed the FBI where he has. 

Alana also agreed to lying. If she didn't Hannibal would be locked up and labelled as insane. How would he look after a baby locked up? It was the only way he would be free so she had to tell the FBI that Hannibal wasknocked out and had nothing to do with her or Jacks injuries. 

Two witnesses against very weak and hidden evidence. Hannibal was safe and his freedom restored. All he had left was Alana, just the two of them. There was always just going to be two of them.

The morning came and Hannibal had prepared to take her home early.  He loaded her things into his car and went to collect her. Her room was empty, all the gifts and cards gone. No more piles and bags of papers and clothes. It was good for her to be leaving. \they both thought/

"Are you ready Alana?" He said while retrieving her wheelchair.

Alana shrugged. "As I'll ever be." She gave him a weary smile as she pushed herself up, wincing at the pain that shot down her back.

He ran to her side and held her steady, he put his hand on her back so she could focus on moving her centre. He shifted her legs one by one to the edge of the bed, then finally lifting her up into the wheelchair, which was difficult as she still had to wear a back brace. She only had her arms/upper body strength back. Still nobody knew how long it could last, her body kept trying to reject the medication and surgeries and they didn't know what worked or what didn't. 

"Ready to see Applesauce" he chuckled, trying to hide his own fear.

Something wasn't right.

Her eyes lit up, and she nodded. "Always." She painfully grinned.

He started to push her out of the room and to the main lobby and sooner or later to the parking lot. After getting her settled his car he packed the wheelchair and started the engine. It took an hours car journey to get to her house.

Half way through Alana ran a hand over her face, feelings almost unbearably weak.

He saw, he saw her discomfort and the sadness that filled her eyes. It pained him to see her this weak, she was always so strong and brave and now she looks like she wants to give up. It was like watching a dog be put to sleep.

As the rest of the journey passes Hannibal pulls up into her drive, the street is quiet and empty. Where is everyone? He unbuckled his seatbelt and started to unload her wheelchair. 

He opened her door to the car and helped her unbuckle. He started with her legs like he did in her room, but this time she tried push herself up from the seat and gasped a moan. It took all her energy to do a simple push which got her nowhere. It had all caught up with her.

"Slowly Alana, take your time." He expressed

Alana pushed herself up in his arms and lowered herself into the wheelchair with a soft sigh, running a hand over her face.

Hannibal grabs her hand gently worried she would brake by his touch and pulls it away from her face.

"Alana." He said with a strong voice, she knew... he knew... this was going to be hard.

He wheeled her up the curb when he paused.

"What is it?" She asked surprised.

"I forgot about the steps." Gesturing towards the house, giving of a small smirk at how silly he had become.

_She doesn't return the gesture._

"I'll walk when we get up to the. I'll be fine."

_No, the denial had already started._

"You can't walk Alana, your wearing a back brace, It will do you so much damage if you do try to support yourself, your spine isn't ready for you to try yet. There is only one way." 

Hannibal steps in front of her and hoists her gently into his arms; making sure her spine is unharmed and straightened.

With Alana in his arms he slowly makes his way to the front door, trying not to knock her on anything.

After laying her down on the sofa he went outside and got the rest of Alana's things.

When he came back he saw her with her hand to her face and starring at a wall. She was empty as if she was lifeless. Her breathing was slow and unsteady, Alana wasn't dealing with this already. Hannibal thought she might last a day or  two. Not only an hour. She was hiding and protecting the only thing she had left. She wanted to live, but was it worth it?

He went and sat next to her. "Alana, are you okay?" 

She slowly turned her head towards Hannibal, trying to speak but all the wrong words came out.

"I....Yeah, I suppose. Yeah." she mumbled

"I am a psychiatrist, I know your not telling me something, please I'm here to look after you, to support you." He said trying to gain eye contact. Alana kept looking away and avoid it knowing he could analyse her.

Alana sighed

"I hate being so weak."

He looks down briefly, looking in his lap at his hands. "The medication will help you gain energy and strength. They are the best hope right now. The sooner you start taking them the better." This gives Alana time to analyse him.

"If I- if I could take away your weakness, I would....Bu-but I can't."

He looks up and they share contact, both can see the tears dwelling ready to drip. He holds them back, Alana can't.

 She chokes out- "I know, I know."

He hold back. "The weaker you are...The stronger the baby will be."

She turned away to face the wall again. Starting to lose myself once more.

She swallowed.

"I know Hannibal."

Tension filled the air as Hannibal realised what he had said. He should have kept that for himself, it wasn't necessary. It was rude.

"Sorry."

She didn't have to reply, he knew that. Clearing his throat. "Do your parents know about the baby?" Changing the subject.

She nodded.

"What was their overview?" 

"They wanted to meet you." Her voice started to soften

"I don't object to meeting them, but I would rather you felt. Better." He stated.

She shrugged. " Me too, I can't be dealing with them right now. It's better just the two of us." 

He nodded back.

As the hours passed Alana sat on the sofa reading her book while Hannibal was on his iPad reading up on new articles. \Manly to see if Freddy had posted anything new on his case./

Alana's Clock started chiming, both of them jumped in surprise.

"Would you like some lunch Alana?" 

"Yes, that would be wonderful Hannibal, thank you."  she put down her book to give him a smile.

He made a light chicken pasta salad, new to the both of them due to Alana's sadly dietary plans. Everyone new they weren't going to stick, but they had to try their best to keep to it for now.

They ate lunch and after watched a movie. They watched one of Alana's favourites, A Royal Affair. Hannibal liked it too but found some of the characters rude and disrespectful. 

By 3 pm both of them were shattered and it was clear Alana needed rest. 

"You look tired Alana, maybe you should go get some rest." He suggested

"I- Ca- Wi- I...." she sighs along with the stutters

"Will you please take me to my bedroom." 

He doesn't reply and just stands up ready for the move,

"Shall I bother with the wheelchair or just?" suggesting that it was easier to carry her.

"just." she replied

Hannibal picked her up and carried her to her room, even though he was careful he did knock her arm on the doorway from the kitchen to the stairs.

Her room was a beautiful green, a neutral obedient colour. It suited her well, and did the room justice. Her room had a theme of woodland creatures and nature, it was filled with marvellous paintings of foxes, rabbits and- deer.

Hannibal laid Alana down on her bed, reaching for a pillow to raise her head up.

"Do you want to get- changed?" 

All of this was awkward. There had been tension for weeks, but this was a new level. Everything was going downhill, this made it even worse for them as a couple- are they- or really will they?

"Erm, I think I will be alright for now, thankyou." 

He pulled a blanket over her and tucked her in. "I will wake you when dinner is being served, if not, call me if you need anything." He left and shut the door.

Alana sighed.

Finally on her own.

Her thoughts took over in the darkness.

Her true Feelings.

 _she thought_ ' Why is all of this so hard? I can't do this forever, I'm already emotionally drained and I haven't even started the pills yet. _oh god- the pills._ The side effects either will harm me or the baby, but I won't reject it. That's the main thing, right? I don't want to lose the baby, but what's the point if I'm going to die anyway. I will lose it, her, him. I will lose Hannibal too, the monster who did all of this to me. _I have myself to blame too._  I love him, I think. Do I, or is this still the blindness he has given me. Why. Why did I have to run up the stairs, why couldn't I just leave! This is all too much for me, I just want to. Want  to... _die_. 

She lay there tears pouring from her eyes again.

_She fell asleep, falling with her nightmare._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Alana is going to have to deal with side effects, pregnancy and the spinal treatment pain. That's a lot of things to deal with when your suicidal. If you have any ideas on what I could add to the next chapter, don't be afraid to ask me :D
> 
> Yeah, so this is whole thing is getting serious now, fun.   
> Hope you enjoy it :D


	4. Fallen Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana starts taking her medication and Hannibal has to look after her. She struggles keeping a positive mindset about Hannibal while he caters for her, how will Hannibal solve her denial in him?

"Alana ?" Hannibal whispered into the door as he entered her room, she was still having her afternoon snooze. He didn't want to wake her but dinner was ready and he didn't want it to spoil. He opened the curtains and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked peaceful and calm, but he could not miss the damp spaces under her eyes, she had been crying and it had been too late for him not to notice. 

He reached out and placed a hand on her arm and gently shook her. "Alana, dinner is ready."

She grumbled and tried shaking him off, he chuckled at her try.

"Come on, you don't want your food to get cold." chuckling again 

 Alana yawned and moved her upper body over. It didn't work and she ended up moaning in pain. Hannibal moved her legs so she was flat on her back facing towards him.

"Ready to get up?" 

"Noahh-" turning to yet another yawn but she does end up replying with a small nod.

Hannibal reached for her and once again carried her carefully to the Kitchen, he had all the food out on the table so it wouldn't take any extra time, he placed Alana down in her wheelchair which had replaced the dinning chair that was there before. They began eating and were nearly finished when Hannibal reminded Alana.

"After you have finished dinner, you need to need to take your medication." 

"Oh- right yes. Thank you for reminding me." she said with shame.

"I'm doing what is asked of me, that's all." He smiled dearly at Alana, trying to hide the fact she needed some injections.

_A few moments later_

"Dinner was wonderful Hannibal, thank you."

"I wouldn't want you starving" Once again he smiled at her, he wanted her to smile back at her, she didn't. "It was pleasure cooking for you again, I missed it."

"So did I." Finally. A smile.

"Shall I go get the medication?" He asked even though he was going to get it anyway. Alana nodded anyway.

He came back with 2 packets of pills are 1 injection need/bottle. The injection was to help lower her chances in getting Autonomic dysreflexia, which could be life threatening if not prevented. The pills ranged from pain medicine to morphine and other things necessary to keep her healthy.

"Which would you like to start with?"

"Pills."

He handed her the correct dosage and a glass of water. She swallowed them raw and handed the water back to him, Hannibal set the glass down beside her and prepared the injection.

"This needs to be injected into your upper thigh, please can I moved your dress up?" It was a rude thing to ask but considering the situation I think it was alright.

"You can." She answered nervously.

Hannibal lifted her dress up so it was close to her stomach, he cleaned her right thigh ready for the insertion. "It might sting but it won't be painful."

"Do it." she replied.

He pressed the needle into her skin and injected the liquid, it was over fast but he could feel her tense up against his hand. _Maybe it hurt more than he said?_ He removed the needle and disposed of it.

"I need to do a routine skin assessment, to check for dysreflexia."

"Right- oka-y"

She lifted up her arms for him to assess, his hands were delicate against her skin, he couldn't see anything suspicious and ended the check-up.

"You are all clear, but time will tell if you experience any side effects." 

_Alana yawned_

"drowsiness is one side effect." He chuckled in reply. 

"Please can you take me to bed Hannibal?" 

"Of course."

He wheeled her to her room and helped her onto her bed. "I suggest that you change for the night, would you like my assistance?"

"I- uh- I- I don't know." 

"It will be okay Alana. It's nothing I haven't seen, even now after all of this. I am here to help you." He moved her head to she was looking him in his eyes. 

"Please help me." she stubbornly said. 

He started with her tights, it was an effort and a half as they got stuck on her upper legs. He ended up stepping backwards holding on the foot area stretching them to get them off, Alana watched him struggle and found it rather amusing. _Was he always this clumsy? Or is it an act?_

"That was harder than I anticipated."

Next up was the dress and all Hannibal was considering was over her head or under her hips? He lifted her up and rested her back against the headboard while he unzipped her dress. Moving her forward, he rested her head on his chest while he slipped his hands under the fabric yanking it off her shoulders and pulling it down to her waist. He laid her back down again and pulled her dress completely off. Alana had her eyes shut, trying not to think about the situation she was in. Hannibal could see the tension in her, but it wasn't going to get any better.

He walked over to her dresser and picked up a pair of her pyjamas, they were a crystal white with blue details along the sleeves, a beautiful floral print. Once he came back to her on the bed he knew had had to remove everything. That was going to be the hardest part, Alana didn't trust him yet that's all she could do. She didn't have anyone else there for her only Hannibal. She strangely liked that in some way, only him to worry about. No family annoying her, no hospital trips everyday. It was peaceful compared to what she could have had.

"It's nearly over, just relax Alana. It will be okay." He whispered as he leaned towards her ready to do the next step.

Her breathing slowed and she did as he said. She relaxed, opening her eyes to see Hannibal reaching for her back, ready to dress her. She gave him a small sweet smile, trying to show him that she was ready.

He pulled his arms around her and pushed the shirt over her head while she pushed her arms threw the holes.

"I could have done that." She stated.

"It's easier if I do, I don't want to risk you of anything."

He moved ready for the trousers, putting her back down against the pillows he lifted one leg at a time putting her leg through the pyjama bottoms, he then lifted the waistband up and over the metal of her back brace. Alana sighed when it was all over.

He lifted the sheets up and tucked her in.

"Goodnight Alana." He leaned in and kissed her forehead, reaching for her stomach above the covers. He gently squeezed then left for the door. He hovered at the door.

"Night- Hannibal."

 

*** 

 

It had only been 3 hours when Hannibal had been awoken on the sofa by the sound of someone screaming. He ran to her room and flung the door open to see her trying to toss and turn, crying and screaming. _Nightmare._ Knowing that she was okay made him more at ease. She was safe at least. Alana still in a state of distress, Hannibal walked over to her and laid on the bed next to her. He shifts her towards his chest and cradles her body.

"Shhhh- Alana, it's okay. Shhh-"

Her eyes still pouring she turns her head and rests it on his shoulder. "Han- Hannibal." 

"I'm here." He says while hugging her tighter. He rocks her body gently, moving her like a baby in his arms. 

"Go to sleep Alana, you are okay. I'm not going anywhere." 

He felt her body relax, her crying coming to a halt. He stroked her hair while closing his eyes.

She was shocked, waking up in his arms again. To her it was just another nightmare. Having him there for comfort made her heart melt, knowing such a monster could still be able to care- or mimic the action of caring. He didn't care, did he? Did he? Her mind full of nightmares and questions while stuck in the devils arms. The confusion didn't stop- She didn't understand how he could sooth her. What is going on? She doesn't understand. The sound of his heart eased her, hearing it made her think he was human, not a creature from hell. A loving, caring human. _She fell asleep to this thought._

 

***

The morning was hell, she woke up to herself throwing up all over the sheets. Hannibal was still holding her when woke but that didn't last as long as she wanted. He got up and cleaned the mess she had made, he moved her body up so she was resting against the headboard, since she couldn't throw up in the bathroom he had given her a bucket. It wasn't a nice thought, knowing your too weak that you have to throw your guts up in a bowl.

"Your officially 3 months today." He said trying to make her think less of what was going on.

"yay- great, only 6 more to go, before I-."

"Don't. You need to stop worrying, we don't know what's going to happen. Don't give up."

"I think it's too late for that."

"Alana, your going to have to trust me. This might go according to plan and we could all be together." 

"Hannibal! How can I trust you? The reason I'm like this is because of you, I have no faith in you at all!"

"I have 6 months to gain your trust, that's reasonable. " he said smirking as he wiped her mouth from the vile ooze.

Alana tried to pull away from his grip but all he did was pull her closer. 

He started getting her ready for the day by dressing her and brushing her teeth. After breakfast they sat down on the sofa, Hannibal read some old novel to her in Lithuanian, she didn't understand any of it but the sound of his voice comforted her even though she didn't know who he really was anymore. _She wasn't blind anymore but she was confused._

"Hannibal, sorry but. I'm really hungry."

"We only just had breakfast."

"I am pregnant remember." She chuckled to the thought of his forgetting.

"Yes, what do you have in mind?" 

"Waffles wait- no ice cream."

"Is this your first craving Alana?"

"Maybe, I just want food."

"Shall I go for some desert waffles with ice cream? I think you will enjoy my twist on it."

"Yes please, um- long as it doesn't contain human." Giggling at her remark they both went about their tasks.

***

Hannibal spent the rest of the day trying to find something she could eat without throwing up, nothing seemed to work and he got frustrated until she started eating chocolate covered gherkins. It was disgusting but she was finally happy and eating. 

By the end of the week they both were exhausted from all the struggles of the medicine and food/vomit problems. It was so tiring but worth it in the long run, Alana had her Ultrasound soon and it sure would be worth it. All the effort to see the actual thing they created or in Alana's case. The thing that was going to kill her.

 The one thing she loved so much but hated so much, the thing that was killing her was her blood. Her own child was killing her, but it was worth it. It is worth it. It has to be, for it and Hannibal.

For herself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried being realistic with all the side effects Alana could have and such~ Sorry this took FOREVER to write, I've been struggling at school recently with tones of coursework and preparing for new subjects so its been really hard to find time to write.
> 
> The next chapter will be better as I will be starting my summer holiday soon, which means 6 weeks for writing *yay* :D


	5. Fallen Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal takes Alana to her ultrasound and end up going to extreme lengths preparing for the new arrival. With the new room decorated Alana fears that her taste buds have betrayed her as she starts to crave something only the Devil would imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know it has been a long time since I last updated but I've been reeaaallly busy as I have started more of my GCSE's and doing art has been such a time consuming project. But, here is the update anyway....I have no clue where this chapter was going....so oh my! my brain!! please forgive me for this :D ( hope you enjoy, plus I'm open for story/plot ideas...i do have a whole pregnancy story to get through so anything is welcome :) )

The days pasted and the Ultrasound crept up faster than Alana had wanted it to. She was so scared of what might go wrong but most importantly the gender of the baby. Since Alana hadn't had time to prepare or even start buying clothing or anything for the baby, time was running out and she had to help Hannibal prepare, or they both will be in trouble. Hannibal had insisted on buying everything but Alana had wanted to herself, to have control of her child's life before she was gone. _And the fact Hannibal's taste wasn't her preferred choice._ They had decided that after the Ultrasound that they would finally do _some_ form of shopping. 

It was only 8 am when they left in Hannibal's Bentley, they had booked the earliest appointment that was available at the hospital to avoid any unwanted....visitors. ( Freddie Lounds just would not give up her hope in the Ripper, even though the court had dismissed any charges against Hannibal.) Around half way through the journey to the hospital Alana kept trembling as they got closer and closer, she was shaking and her breathing got heavier and heavier.

"Is everything all right Alana?" turning to face her for a moment before looking back at the road.

"I'm just- I..." She couldn't finish her sentence when tears started pouring.

"Everything will be fine, I've seen no signs of damage. This should be a quick appointment and we will hopefully get to find out the gender. Everything will be fine Alana." He took one hand off the wheel and squeezed one of hers.

"I know, I just can't help be scared. It's killing me Hannibal. I just want to know everything will be okay once I'm gone, that's all." she whispered as the car turned into the Hospital car park.

"You need to stop thinking about what will happen _if_ you die. Nobody has clearly stated you will, your chances of dying are the same as you living. I don't want this bringing you down Alana, there is still hope in a lot of ways that you don't see." 

She didn't reply to him, it wouldn't change her way of thought it just made her even more worried about her living. All the talk of death had made her forget her changes of life, this terrified her more. Knowing she would have to care for a child in her state, trying to help it grow and give it love when she couldn't even dress herself anymore. _No, no more thinking._

"You ready?"

"mhmm" she unbuckled her seat belt and scooted up ready for Hannibal to lift her into the wheelchair. Once they were inside and waited for her Doctor, her trembling stopped and she calmed. This made Hannibal more peaceful. 

"Alana Bloom?" said  Dr. Middleton as she opened the door smiling.

"Yes, that's me." she smiled back at her

"Right lets get to it, please can you move her onto the bed please." Hannibal moved her onto the medical bed, making sure she was comfy. Dr. Middleton lifted up her top to show her abdomen and put a dollop of ultrasound gel  on her stomach. After spreading it around her belly she switched the machine on. Alana's breathing hitched and she closed her eyes tightly.

"Everything okay deary?" The doctor asked

"I'm okay, sorry."

Silence fell upon the room, Alana sitting there fearing the worst while Hannibal trying to comfort her.

"Everything is clear and your vitals show no sign of internal bleeding or damage. Your baby is healthy and there is nothing to worry about." God this women wouldn't stop smiling. Laughing at what she just said she passed a tissue to her to wipe up the gel.

"Oh! Before I forget, did you want to know the gender of the baby?" 

They both looked at each other, finally finding out what she was having. _Some good news finally._

"Yes, please we would love to know." 

"Well as you can see here, you are having a little baby...."

"Girl!" She shouted and pointed on the screen to black and white image.

"I'm- We are having girl Hannibal." she said looking at him with a huge grin, she wanted to hug him and thank him for this. Well, until she remembered... everything. Her smile left her glowing face and her happiness left just as it came.

(add her opinion and emotions here) what she saw for the future, what she was going to miss if she died.)

"Right let me just print these images and then you can be on your way." 

 ****

"So." she said after being loaded back into the Bentley. "A girl..."

"Yes, you are having a girl." He glanced over to her while starting to pull away from the hospital.

"What do you think? I mean... What would you have liked?"

"I wouldn't have minded what gender it could have been as long as it was healthy." he paused "But I always imagined that having a girl would be more appealing."

"Well, I'm glad it's girl too." He nodded to reply.

Alana was so tired and fatigue from all the movement and illness taking over her body, not forgetting the growing life inside her. She thought Hannibal was just going to take her home and that she could just relax for the rest of the day. With this thought she closed her eyes. Unfortunately she had forgotten that she and Hannibal were going out to buy items for their little monster.

"Alana.....Alana, it's time to wake up now."

She slowly opened her eyes to see his figure leaning over hers, while he lifted her out she was busy rubbing her eyes trying to figure where she was.

This was her first time being in public since her accident, she felt as if everybody was starring at her, judging her and deciding all their opinions. It also didn't help she had the man who everybody thought was a serial killer pushing her around in a wheelchair.

_but if he didn't, who would?_

They arrived at the first store, it was very empty with only a few mothers on the hunt for some emergency diaper's, both of them were thankful for this. 

"I- don't feel- comfortable here. It doesn't feel right, I don't-"

He knelt down in front of here just as they entered, they starred at each other realizing that this was very much real. Thinking about something and preparing are very different things and they only both realized this. His hand raised to her cheek and rubbed over her cold, pale skin. "I know." he pulled his hand away, still keeping contact "But it has to be done, or we will both be in trouble." Smirking he picked up her hand and kisses it gently, she returned the gesture after. After returning to his original stance behind her, the joys of shopping began.

"Let me know if you see anything you like. Hold on, I should have gotten a basket, I doubt we won't be getting a lot." 

"Well I won't be going anywhere soon."

Alana turned her head and glanced over the huge wall covered in girls clothing, all pinks and purples and lots of butterfly's and flowers. It reminded her of her childhood, in the spring she explored the nearby farm getting her pretty dresses all covered in mud, the freedom and the wonder she had in those days. When Alana was younger all she wanted was to explore and travel, she wanted to go all around the world with her family. She still could, if she wanted to.

She picked up a few dresses and t-shirts but all the clothing kept repeating the same style, no other colours in sight. Even though Hannibal had told her to hold on, she used whatever upper body strength that she had left and tried to wheel herself to baby boy section. Luckily is wasn't that difficult but it just reminded her of how weak she had become. Once she was seated next to the wall she started picking out a few things, finally able to have a larger colour choice. She filled her lap with rompers and t-shirts when from behind her.

"I thought you said you wouldn't be going anywhere?" 

"Sorry, I just got sick starring at all the pink." she huffed

"Well what are you doing in the boy section? I thought we were having a girl?"

Alana sighed having to explain herself, she thought he might have understood. "We are having a girl but that doesn't stop me buying boys clothing, it won't make a difference in her life in the end."

"Alright then, I agree. here let me take those." He took the clothing and placed it into the much rather large basket.

"Are you alright browsing or do you want to move on to the cribs?" Hannibal said with a small smirk, hinting that he wanting to pick out some things himself.

"Uh- I'm good just browsing right now. You can go off if you want, I can handle myself."

humming in agreement he left her and walked back over to the girl's clothing leaving her to decide what was acceptable.

The wall of clothing took over his mind as all the little dresses reminded him of his little Mischa, his dear sister he loved so much. One particular dress was clean a clean crystal white, lace covered the shoulders and sleeves. It was so small, not the same size of Mischa in his mind. But It was the same. He picked the dress up and starred at the size against his large hands.

His mind had turned red, the blood dripped and leaked from the dress filling his hands with thick death. The blood kept pouring and pouring, the clothes on the wall turned to red, the whole room. He was in a room of hell with no escape.

"Hannibal?" she whispered to him. "Are you okay? You look very pale."

He jumped back into reality, the room was back to normal and everyone was fine and breathing.

His voice got caught as he tried to reply, luckily Alana didn't think much of it.

"Ye- Yes I'm fine, just a bit shocked by all the choice."

"I am too, there is just so much to pick from." she paused and pointed to his hands "I like that dress, is it going in the basket?" 

"Uh- Yes. It is."  Folding it into the basket he gave her a reassuring look. "Are you done here? It looks as if we have enough things for life time."

"I think I'm done for the day, and I doubt it. You can never have enough." 

****

*4 days later*

"Alana time to wake up, dinner is ready."

The past few days had been hell, painting and redecorating her guest bedroom. She thought it would be easy, but she always forgot she was stuck in a wheelchair. Hannibal had suggested to hire some people to do it, but Alana wanted to do it herself. And he couldn't just say no. 

They decided to go for a a mix of Lavender and Lemon for the decor. Pastels and gentle tones went well with the white changing table and crib. It made the room much more brighter than it was originally and the fact Alana got to help made it even more special.

"Sorry, I must have feel asleep while sorting out its- I mean her books. What are we having?"

"I have prepared a lightly seasoned duck and rice curry, full of proteins. It should be easy on your stomach."

"Oh, sound lovely." _Sounds disgusting._

With the first bite she was right, this food was not for her. Quickly removing herself from the table she wheeled to the closest bin to remove the Duck from her stomach, leaving a dribble of the disgusting spew on her chin. Not soon after she felt a cloth pressed up against her. Her head spinning and dizzy, her vision weakening. _She was so hungry. But why wouldn't her body let her eat._

"Oh, It's okay." He said as he continued cleaning up the mess on her face and floor. "You really need to get something in you. Maybe some Chicken Caesar Salad again?"

"Anything- anything will do." She leaned back in her chair, feeling her body go limp and relaxed while he started moving her to sofa to lie down. 

"Try not to fall asleep, I'll bring it out when it's down." Once she was laying down he passed her the bucket which she hated so much. She hated that stupid bucket so much.

10 minuets had passed and the food was ready to be eaten. Sadly once again the food was wasted and Alana couldn't keep it inside her for one second. This started to annoy the both of them. 

"Maybe somethings wrong." She noted.

"I doubt it, we had the all clear a few days ago. I think your taste buds are just altering, that's."

"Well if my taste buds are changing, what the hell am I going to eat?!" So far she had managed to stay in her normal state, but once in a while. Rage would pour down from the depths of Alana. Nobody could stand in her way.

"Well- I have an Idea, but your not going to take to well to it." 

****

"Whatever your cooking it smells delicious, Hannibal!" smiling to himself at her compliment her replied.

"It's nearly ready, I do hope you will actually be able to consume this without bringing it back up- again." 

"Yeah me too." Alana could smell a powerful yet sweet, most likely juicy meat. The air was filled with a strong mint and lime fragrance, it was pungent but she enjoyed the taste it left on tongue while she waited to be served.

Hannibal then glanced in with a silver tray containing the mysterious food and a glass of water (just in case.) "Bon appétit Alana." 

Lifting up the cover to the tray, it revealed two slices of pork covered in a red sauce accompanied by some roast potatoes with herbs and leaves. It looked and smelt amazing and Alana couldn't help but dig right in.

After she had finished she had asked if there was any spare leftovers. There was, but Hannibal refused to give them to her.

"That was amazing as always. Glad you found something I can eat." 

Tired from the cooking he sat down in an arm chair close by Alana, leaning forward towards her with a serious look in his eyes, she was confused by his sudden change of moods.

"Is everything alright Hannibal?" he looked to the floor and she finally realized. "Wha- What was the meat?" 

"I think you already know the answer."

"why would- why! I thought all that was going to stop- why!" feeling her stomach turn with pleasure from the meal tears started to roll down her beautiful porcelain skin.

"You got used to eating human meat and your body was lacking the vitamins it contained, well the baby wanted it. And if I recall you agreed to this."

"I didn't think you meant that you would feed my human meat! Even with the past events!"

He gave out a long huffy sigh. "You seemed to enjoy it."

"Hannibal. Really?" she asked with a sarcastic huff.

"Just.. You liked it. You don't need to have it again.. I thought we had a deal that you agreed too, therefore if you think that this is wrong.. you don't have to have it again."

" I sure in hell won't!" she joked.

"Lets just hope our child doesn't want anymore.." 

Alana picked up on this, as he did have a point. If their little baby girl fancied some flesh then who's going to be the one to stop them, they've already seen what it's like when she doesn't get her way. 

"I will just have to wish for it then."

Hannibal closed his eyes and nodded with a small smirk, knowing that no matter how hard she tried that it was going to happen either way and he was going to have to start killing again.

 

 

### 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I just did that. Sorry. I thought it was a cool little thing to do... but no I was wrong. HA. I hope you enjoyed this update.. THE NEXT ONE IS GOING TO BE A GOOD ONE. I promise. (I've been working on it for weeks now and its pretty good so far.) Also I want to thank everyone that has read and given kudos' for this story.. I didn't expect this many people to even consider looking at this... but here you are :D Thankyou!!  
> (Don't forget that I'm still totally open for any prompts for any fics or any story line modifications that I can add to future chapters... I like writing for/with people. So message me up if you feel like it :D ) baiii


	6. Fallen Futures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alana and Hannibal face new challenges as a new stage in their relationship is established but as Alana's pregnancy progresses she becomes ill and Hannibal has to try and keep calm whilst trying to keep Jack under the radar for now.

Ever since the issue with Hannibal about the meat, Alana had been suspicious of every meal. She didn't want to have the same problem again, eating human meat was bad enough as it is. It had only been a few days but each day Alana's stress levels kept rising and her blood boiled with rage over the simplest things. It was on Tuesday night when things started to pick up again, not for the better but she didn't have anything else going for her at the moment.

"Hannibal?" she called out in the night, not knowing if he had heard her or not.

Alana heard a slight groan from her lounge and the footsteps that followed it. Hannibal entered her room with his hair messy and eyes still partially closed.

"Alana, you called?" groaning still, he sat on her bed whilst helping her sit up She didn't say a word back to him but instead grabbed his hands and moved them so they were on her fairly large belly.

"Alana what are y- oh. wow. uh- Alana, shes-" she smiled back up at him grinning at his inability to talk. He was so shocked over the sensation of their baby girl kicking back at his hands it took the words right out of his mouth.

I've never felt her kick so... violently before." he murmured into her hands as he moved his head to her belly.

"Yeah, it's new to me too. Shes never been this fussy."

"I can't do anything about that I'm afraid. Maybe just try and relax, I'll go and get you some water." He stood ready to retrieve the water.

"No- stop. Don't leave me, please. I don't want to be alone, not again."

Hannibal sighed as he turned around and walked to the other side of her bed, taking off his jumper and unbuttoning his shirt. Sleeping on a sofa with just a blanket never kept him warm enough so he decided just to stay in his casual clothing for the evening.

Climbing in beside Alana was something that he hadn't done in a long time and it surprised him that Alana would ever want him too again. After he settled down beside her, she managed to shimmy down back to a lying position and rolled over to face him. He leaned his head towards her, their heads now resting together. It was a peaceful time. No, distractions, no medicine and it was just like it was before Alana's accident. They both just starred at each other, living the moment. Seeing what would happen next.

"I missed this." he whispered whilst stroking her hair out of her face.

"I've missed you." she replied, weaving her petite fingers through his chest hair, snuggling closer to Hannibal. 

Sadly she couldn't get as close as she wanted as her enlarged abdomen filled with their precious girl got in the way. Instead she just pressed her body up to him as much as she could and moaned in pain as the devil spawn started kicking her again.

Hannibal chuckled to himself "I felt that." reaching down he rested his hands on the feisty kicker and rubbed gently in tiny circles.

"Try and get some sleep, we have some shopping to do tomorrow and to talk about the baby shower."

"Hannibal. I thought I was clear with me not wanting a baby shower."

"Yes, you were, but I still want you to consider it." kissing her forehead and closing his eyes.

"Goodnight Hannibal."

"Goodnight Alana."

 

****

 

"Alana, sweetie, it's time to go now." Hannibal said to her by nudging Alana wake in her wheelchair just after having a cat nap before leaving for a day of shopping. She didn't know what to think of the night before, all she knew was that she was pleased, maybe it was the change in her hormones... _no, she wanted this._

She was over being alone. She needed him now, otherwise she would regret whatever time she had left in this world. Alana needed to make sure he would look after her baby when she was gone, if she goes... or maybe a single part of her wanted to have the old Hannibal back.

"huh, oh right yeah. I'm not feeling too good right now. Do you think we could just go later on." she whimpered.

"Certainly, would you like me to go out and get you anything? We seem to have run out of eggs and milk so I still have to go out I'm afraid." 

"umm you could get me some more ice cream, Cookie Dough." she replied in an instance.

"Okay, I will be back shortly, will you be alright on your own Alana?"

"Yes Hannibal, I will be fine. Just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I'm not capable of looking after myself.

With that, he left. He went to his Bentley and headed off to the nearest supermarket. It as never to his tastes but he always goes for Alana. When Hannibal left, it felt as if Alana's condition worsened and tried to reach for some medicine but her mind was somewhere else and as she was reaching she fell onto the floor. Her head was spinning, her eyes couldn't focus and soon she fell into darkness.

 

*** 

 

It was 1:15 and Hannibal had been gone for longer than he had hoped but he couldn't leave with her cookie dough ice cream.  As he got into his car, he wanted to make sure Alana knew where he was. So he called her... but when she didn't pick up he knew something was wrong. She always had her mobile on her, there was no reason she wouldn't answer, the sound would have woke up from a slumber. He rushed to get home after the 16th ring of his phone.

He didn't bother with getting his shopping out when he got back, he wanted to make sure she was alright. 

"Alana, Alana! Where are you? Are you alri-" he stopped and saw Alana on the floor. She was on her back passed out and her whole body was flinching slightly. 

He didn't hesitate to grab her and carry her bridal style. He rushed to the bed and put her down, aiming for the phone he called an ambulance.

"Alana, please wake up! ple-please Alana! Don't leave me." He screamed as he took her pulse and felt the slowly pace. 

 

TOO BE CONTINUED 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, yep I just did that. :D let me know what you think in the comments and stuff :D


	7. Fallen Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what happened to Alana and see the results of the incident on everyone and how they cope to the new found situation. Turns out it's going to get a lot harder! Also Alana and Will have a nice friendly walk in the park, whilst Hannibal is changing the house around.... again.

The sound of the monitors beeping kept him up all night. So many different sounds, pitches and all at different times. Music is the medical world is not a good sign. Hannibal was sitting by her bedside, waiting and waiting until he got news, doctors and nurses entered and left the room as if Alana was a wild animal at the Zoo. Rude. 

By the 38th hour Hannibal's body just gave up and he fell asleep on the chair, holding onto Alana's hand, as if she would get up and start walking during his sleep. 

A few hours later, once the nurses slowly started to leave them be, Will came to visit. He wasn't sure what he was really doing, going to see Alana. It always was awkward between them, especially now since her and Hannibal are having a child. I guess it was just out of putting his mind at rest, that Hannibal wasn't the one who put her in hospital.  

Once he entered her room, he glanced at her lying there, holding Hannibal's hand. This wasn't the first time he had seen a sleeping Hannibal, the first was with Abigail at the same hospital. At least this time, it made more sense for him to be holding Alana's hand.

Will didn't want to wake Hannibal and wasn't sure if he even could wake up Alana. So instead he thought it was easier to write a note for Hannibal to read once he woke up about his parsing by. Since he had no paper on him he just grabbed the closest piece he could find, which happened to be a booklet about _How to create the perfect diet._ He thought that was ironic to give Hannibal considering he is always aware of what he is putting in his body. After a few seconds of chuckling to himself he started to write.

 

_To Hannibal,_

_I was just parsing by on the way back to Wolf Trap when I was informed about Alana's incident. I thought it would be decent to stop by and see you both, but I couldn't bring it upon myself to wake you from your slumber. You looked so tired and I hope you and Alana the best for the future. If you ever want to talk, you can call me on my new cell: 409-253-2208._

_Will._

 

After writing the short note, he realised that there was no surfaces free to put it on. He grabbed the blanket draped over the sofa and gently covered Hannibal's legs, placing his note on top on. Without realising, Hannibal had already awoken but didn't say anything and Will turned to leave. Hannibal took one gasp and could taste Will's cruel aftershave before nodding off again.

\----- The Next Week -----

 After a  long week of tests and examinations, Alana did eventually wake up after her short term being comatose. Hannibal was distraught and Alana was confused, not as badly as when Hannibal told her the new news.

"I feel sick." she whispered in a croaky broken voice.

"Yes, the Doctors did say that would happen since all medication you have been on." 

"oh-"

"So, We have been told good news and fairly bad news." He boldly said "Which would you rather hear first?"

"Good news."

"There's no other way to put it this, You're having twins."

"I'm what?! How is that even possible, I had a scan and we saw it, we saw her!" 

"It turns out, that our little baby... boy was hiding behind her, It's quite a common mistake." he huffed out 

 

Alana didn't reply, she just needed some time to process it all. Hannibal just let her take it all in.

"The bad news is that you had internal bleeding and reacted to the blood loss violently. Then I would gather after that you passed out. Luckily, the blood was nothing serious, both babies are healthy, you didn't have any major injuries. It was just your body reacting to the blood loss."

"Why did I faint from such a small amount of blood?"

"Your brain is in charge of making the chemicals that caused your reaction - I guess it can get it over judge the situation sometimes."

"well that's just great." she coughed, the texture of sarcasm on her tongue.

"Twins, don't forget. There is going to be two of them. Also, before I forget, Will came by and left a note. I think it would be nice for you to meet up once and a while." Hannibal said as he pulled the note from his pocket, he hadn't moved it since Will visited, making sure he would remember it during the next few days.

"I want to go home Hannibal. I don't like it here- bad memories." she murmured, obviously just needing a nap to sort relax herself.

"I know my little dove, they just have to keep you here for more tests and then we can arrange something with the hospital. Take a nap, relax and I will be here when you wake up." He kissed her hand and helped her with her pillows, before Alana set off into dream land.

\-----Dreaming Alana-----

It was so cold, so dark. The walls around her covered in a thick black paste which was sharp to the touch like a blade. There were many halls and doors, all leading into new rooms, houses, outside and even sets of stairs and in each room, showed Alana one way her life could go.

One door was a white with golden detailing, once opened it showed a world of Alana, Hannibal and their beautiful children all in a park, having a picnic, laughing and playing. Alana was walking again, playing tag, lifting and tickling her children.

Suddenly the door slammed shut and her body got covered in the vile black mixture. Trying to open her eyes, she saw another door. She saw Hannibal alone, no Alana. Just by himself, standing by 3 graves in a lonely churchyard. Willow trees and rain loomed in the background, but he had no umbrella, he just stood there, lost, empty. As he turned to leave, she remained, looking down at her own grave, next to her own children's. All had single white roses placed upon them. 

Loud noises closed all around her, people crying, screaming, doors shutting and then- silence. The final door opened in front of her, slowly, as if it a mere swam in a lake. She walked in and looked forward. All that was contained in that room was a mirror. A single mirror, showing herself standing, looking lost, tears down her face. The mirror soon became a blur and she returned to darkness. _  
_

 

\-------

"Alana, I'm here, you're safe, relax, try and slow your breathing, shhh- it's okay now." Hannibal says are he is startled from his reading of Peter Rabbit to his tiny little children. Alana was just crying and screaming, she looked like she was in physical pain. The loud screeches obviously caught the  nurses attention but there was nothing they could really do to stop her - she looked so far gone.

Hannibal didn't know what to do with himself, he felt so powerless and needed to be in control of whatever was happening. _She's getting so weak._ Without another thought, he climbed on her bed and began pressing her against his chest, trying to make her feel secure and safe.

"Hannibal..?" Her crying soon slowed down and now was just a small whimper. He could feel her tiny little paws, press up against his torso, grabbing and trying to pull closer. 

"It's okay, you're safe. Would you like to talk about it?" 

"I- I don't know what happened? I was dreaming- now I'm here."

"Well, I was reading a book to you and you all of a sudden started screaming and crying. Nothing would calm you down." He said as he brushed his fingers through her hair.

"oh- uh- sorry."

"Don't apologise for something that you couldn't control, you're here now and that's what matters to me."

They both stayed like that for hours, warm bodies pressed close to one another, gentle breathing on skin, fiddling with hair and fabrics. It's the closest to calm Alana had been for a while. If only it would stay like that. After hours of small petting and touching, Alana moved her hands up towards his head and pulled his chin down to look her in the eyes. Their lips joined in a soft kiss, it lasted only a few seconds but it meant and showed so much. _She trusts him._  

"Thank you Hannibal." she whispered as she snuggled into his neck, ready for a second attempt at a nap. _Everything was finally calm._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even want to talk about why this took so long to post, all you guys need to know is that it got deleted and I had to rewrite it, but couldn't due to personal reasons. I have the next one planned, sorry it's shorter than normal but I did the best I could.  
> (Next Chapter contains, Will Graham and a trip to the park! :D!!)  
> I'm going to set up a poll soon for people to vote on names for the babies, as I have a few ideas but haven't decided fully, plus I wanted to Include you in something with this story :3  
> Also don't be afraid to post in the comments, I will respond. :)
> 
> Girl Names Poll: http://www.poll-maker.com/poll271735x047C43b9-10  
> Boy Names Poll: http://www.poll-maker.com/poll271712xe9904785-10


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